Living and staying ALIVE Down Under

So today was a hard but wonderful day.

I am just really lonely.

I feel my heart and everything I wanted in coming to Australia was foolish and wrong.

Satan is right behind me saying "God did not call you here, and now you are alone and a fool." I have been struggling to cling to the truth of who God is, and what he is doing.

I was on campus today getting my ID card, and prayer walking, and reading my bible under the beautiful droopy trees, and I felt God asking two questions..."Will you trust me?"and "Do you believe that I am good?"

I realized that there is a part of me that only says "yes" I trust you and you are good, because I am a Christian, and Christians believe that. But man, I long to deeply in my nature believe that God is good and my rock in whom I can trust.

I remembered a verse that God had me memorize a while ago (Hannah would call this a snow verse), saying...

We wait in hope for the Lord,
he is our help and our shield,
in him our hearts rejoice,
for we TRUST in his holy name.
May your unfailing love rest upon us , O Lord,
even as we put our HOPE in you.

Psalm 33:20-22

God is inviting me here in Australia to be willing to struggle, to be alone, and to check where my hope is, and in whom I am trusting. It is comforting to know that he is ok with it being a process. He is not the voice I hear that demands I get it right, and try harder. Wow.

Then here is where my day gets good. I have been praying that I could bond with my roommates, becuase I moved in 2 days ago and had only met one, and today I met the other roommate and she is so sweet. She is from New Zealand, finds me strange because I dont party, drink or swear, but I am convinced she likes me.

Also I felt God was leading me to walk to the beach. Even though it was cold, even though I was jet lagged and felt alone, he was inviting me. So I put on my jacket grabbed my IPOD and walked the 10 minutes to the ocean. And wow. God is so good. I sat on a bench, and then walked up and down the peir and felt rest as the sunset.

I also watched the people, and found hope. Australians are so cool. There was dads with their kids chasing birds and skipping in the water. There were couples young and old holding hands and walking the bay. There was even a man in his car jamming out on his guitar. I have never seen anyone so content. These people did not look as heavy laden and burdened as I feel Americans do. I feel I carry all my stress around all the time. There is always something I feel I need to do, or something that has gone wrong that I need to fix, or something I need to tell someone. My mind never rests. But today, I saw and tasted rest and I REMEMBERED why God called me here. He is inviting me to know him, to rest, and to become more like him.

He restored my hope.

So if you got this far I have one prayer that I have been asking God for, a like-hearted friend. I would love a friend who lives in the same apartment complex I live in. We could walk to campus or the beach and pray, and even love the internationals together. I am realizing I cannot be alone, I need fellowship.

I miss you, and I am sending you all some lovin from the Australia!

Coleen