I need to Blog more

As I sit at Cafe Luche, with my delightful Latte, with a shape of a leaf in it my heart is romanced. I randomly decided to reread my Australia blogs and I remembered everything. My heart and my head are overflowing with so many thoughts, ideas, longings, memories that I decided it would be really healthy for me to blog about it, and blog more. It is about remembering, and sharing with people what is happening. And I feel a blog helps me organize it all. So here we go.

Lately I have wanted to go somewhere. To run away. I thought it was because I was bored with the monotany of my everyday life, but I have realized that I want to run. I want to get out and fight everything God is doing in my life and everything I doubt he can do. It all seems to much, and I am in a place where the lie feels true. In Australia God exposed me, and then in my vulnerable state he held my hand and said "I am still here, I still love you and choose you."

I want that feeling again.

But I am seeing how I have chosen to believe the lies of my fears, the lies of my past. And in the darkness I have chosen, I hid. I dont want to open up to God or to people, because I myself dont believe I am worth anything.

I am Eve, hiding in the forest.

Hiding from the one who just wants to love me.

And in the hiding I shake with fears, I shake with shame.

I am going to chose today to step out of the forest. To still be afraid, but not to live in fears. To find God when he calls me, and to believe and trust God that what he says is true.

Fraser Island Goodness

This is me in front of the shipwreck! It has been there for 200 years!

So it is finals week, and when is there a better time to go to the largest sand island in the world with 3 of your best girl mates. I honestly didnt think we were going to make it, considering we booked the trip the day before we left.

The road trip:

We rented a car (we called it the lady bug) and road tripped north to fraser island with a few random stops at rainbow beach and noosa in the sunshine coast, and a nice opal farm. We bonded, got lost, had no map and google directions were no help because Australia doesnt label there streets, but honestly it was my funnest adventure in australia. We stopped in Maryborough (I will never forget this town) and ate some funk food called Take Away which messed up our digestive systems, but fortunately at the moment I thought I was going to throw up everywhere in the car, the hostel was right in from of us.

The Journey to the Island in Team Platy:

The next morning we started at 5:30 with debriefing on all the details to go to the Island. The trip was organized through the hostel so they organized us renting a 4WD, the food, the camping gear, and the other 7 passagers in the car. It was us four american girls, a canadian girl, a german, an Irishman named Johnny, a cute newly engaged british couple, and team Sweden (these girls were nuts). We were by far the randomest group, but by far the funnest.

Once on the island we got to see dingos, whales, sharks, champaign rocks, dolphins, jelly fish, beaches, gorgeous fresh water lakes that were crystal clear, lizards, snakes, and a possum got stuck in our tent, pooped everywhere and peed on my bags...pretty sweet.

But all around it was relaxing, nothing went wrong, which is so weird, and I had the time of my life. I just struggle to comprehend God made this world so unique and I love it. I spent time in John 1 thinking of Jesus, and God and the Holy Spirit during creation, and what they must have thought. I felt this connection to God and him loving me, and being joyous over me delighting in His creation. Good stuff.

As for finals, I have 2 more this week, and I have finished 2. It is rainy right now in the Gold Coast, so a perfect condition to study for this week.

The girls and I in Lake McKenzie...so beautiful



Ashley and I dancing in the ocean

Long Due Update from OZ

Hey my lovely friends,

Man it has been too long since I have updated my blog. I appologize for that, because my life here is ever changing and interesting.

So I have had many more random beach adventures. they are each unique and new and fun. I love the region I live in, there are beaches upon beaches and each has a different dynamic.

Today I went to Burleigh Beach and it was lovely. It was Molly and I, and a pretty typical beach day. I love Burleigh though because it forms a little tip bulging outward from the country, so the tide brings in all these gorgeous schells. We played in the rocks and the rocks were swarmed with schells. They were everywhere. Also in the rocks were these exciting squishes things (some sort of sea creature) and an Eel!!!! It was pretty sweet. I tried to run and get my camera and go back, but it already swam away.....but it was still cool.

On my birthday I had a fun adventure filled day. It was awesome. I went to a Wildlife Sanctuary in Currubin, where I played with Kangeroos, saw a mosterous croc, and best part of all I held a koala! Fun Fun.

Then we went to Collongatta beach, where I played some more, in the rocks, and the tide came up and almost pulled me into a rocky pit, but I didnt die, I just got a ginormous bruise on my bottom. And I ate fish and chips for lunch ( my favorite australia meal) and we came back to our apartments and my friends threw me a party, and we ate prawn (shrimp) stirfry....I was touched, I felt loved. I cried. Pure Goodness.

Uni (college) is finishing up, this week is my last week of classes, then next week is study week, then the next finals, then the week after that I come home. Sad day. I have one last trip, which is a road trip to Fraser Island, one of the worlds largest all sand islands. It is a girl camping trip, and we all are pretty stoked for it.

Last weekend I worked at Indy, which is like the Nascar car races in Australia. It was alright. I saw Nicole Richie pregant, and Good Charlotte, and a bunch of famous race car drivers. I had a pretty nice job working in a corporate sweet for a rich tyre (tire) company, they tiped me $150 dollars. It was fun to work with my friends, but it was a hard environment to work in, desperate for Jesus I reckon. Indy is all about getting drunk, and girls in bikinis, pretty dead life. So if you want to pray for my heart that would be great. I didnt really know what I was getting myself into, and I think the environment numbed a bit of my heart. So yeah......I am loving Psalm 19 right now. I am loving Jesus being here resting with me. Hmmmmm he really is who he says he is.

I miss you all...

:::HUGS:::::

I Held a Koala!!!!! woopty woop!

(this picture is from my birthday at Collongatta beach)

Little Life Update

Hey Friends,

For all those who were concerned, I have finished my assignments, last minute and all, and I have had a lovely weekend.

Both Saturday and Sunday i went to the beach. It is really getting hot in Australia, and the only thing there seems to be to do is to sit by the beach with the cool breeze on my face. On Saturday we walked to the beach again, and it truly isnt that far. I feel I am going to get home and expect to walk everywhere, and in reality i probably will.

I will walk to the grocery store, coffee shop, school. peoples houses. So if i randomly show up from 15 miles away, dont be concerned, it is just a mere habit.

On Sunday we went to Collongatta, which is a lovely beach town with big hills overlooking the beach, and big rocks to play in.

My friend Ashley and I played in a random pool by the beach and we felt like kids again. Exploring the places where we couldnt see bottom, and jumping off the rocks in fear of our lives...pretty cool indeed.

Anways brief update about what I am up to. I will share more later, right now I am at Uni and the computer is telling me I have 2 minutes 11 seconds before it kicks me off...oh now 2 minutes 5 seconds

I love you all!!!!

and I am home in 6 weeks!!!!! ahhhhhhhh

The Journey....Burleigh Beach to Labrador....

This week is my biggest week of Uni assignments, and papers, and exams, and so forth, and what did i do today? Today I went for a long walk by the beach. 6 hours in fact.

It was true freedom in the richest sense of the word.

I didn't even feel that daunting burden of "Oh my gosh I have so much to do!"

I walked from Burleigh Beach to Labrador (my home), which is like a 12 mile walk along the coast. It was gorgeous. I walked with my friend Molly, and we left at 7:00 a.m. took a bus for an hour to Burleigh, and started trucking back home. We made random stops, ate apples and carrots, played in the ocean, saw probably over 100 dead jellyfish washed up on the beach, and found the coolest shells.

We also got lost in a random trailer park (along the water weird I know), played in a playground with little kids, and swam in the bay and jumped off the docks. It was glorious.

Now my feet hurt....I am still not done with my assignment that is due tomorrow morning, and I am sun burnt...but I realized that God does what he promises.

As I was walking I realized that I came to Australia to learn about freedom. Freedom from schedules, and pleasing people, and just being enough and trying really really hard. And freedom from believing that what I do effect the way God feels about me (as if i have to make up old time to make my past just go away).

And in Australia I have struggled. Deeply struggled and hated myself, my sin, and everything that I believe that I am....but that loving voice I hear...it has not once condemned..it hasn't said "I am disappointed..." or "it was a mistake when I called you"..but my heavenly Father comes running to me with open arms of love. And that's that. No shame. No condemnation. Only mercy and Grace. And I firmly believe that he has allowed me to struggle in the ways that I have so that I can know (an experiential knowledge) that His love for me does not change.

Dang. I love him so much. I love where I am at. I still hate the sin that lives in me...but I love that my God is bigger than it all.....and his love....oh his love...it cannot even be separated by death. My heart rests. mmmhhhh what a journey

What a God we have.

Melbourne Victoria, Land of Beauty and History

Mid-semester break was last week, and I went on a trip with Alex to Melbourne, Victoria. This is at the bottom of Australia’s main continent, just above Tasmania. We traveled on Monday with Neisha (an Australian girl who’s family lives there), but most of the time we were on our own being tourists.

The first day we spent just doddling around on the city. It was a big city and we ended up in China town for most of the day looking at all the craziness, and enjoying Bubble Tea, and the best seafood noodle platter of my life.

The next day, Tuesday, we adventured through the city. We started at the Pixar Museum, seeing the cool animation and drawings for movies like Finding Nemo, Toy Story, and Monsters Inc. Then we did some shopping, and went to the Melbourne Observation Deck. It was a cool view of the entire city! Gorgeous. Then we saw famous buildings like the Parliament, Federation Square, the Princess Theatre, Hotel Windsor, and St Patricks Cathedral. All so old, with rich historic beauty. That night we took a train to Neisha’s house and had dinner with her mom, and sister. It is an old tradition in Australia to have a roast night every Tuesday and Sunday, so we had roast, sat at the table eating yummy food and then drinking coffee for 3 hours. Just sharing life and seeing the cultural differences (we were some of the first Americans her family has met.)

Wednesday was my favorite day. We took a bus tour trip along the Great Ocean Road. We started by seeing an Aboriginal Culture performance, then went to Bell’s beach, saw Kangeroos in nature, koalas in their natural habitat, all while driving along this gorgeous coast line of beaches and rocks, and golden sand, and teal blue water. It was amazing. The road winded along and I worshiped God’s beauty in creation. Then we got to the 12 apostles, London Bridge, and Arch and Gorge. These are all rock formations…and they can only be explained by seeing it (look at my Facebook pics). At the 12 apostles Alex and I took a helicopter ride along the ocean and it was one of the most surreal experiences of beauty in my life.

WOW!

Thursday we took another tour adventure with “Go West Tour Groups” to Phillip Island. Along the way we stopped at a Winery, which was beautiful, I have never seen such green fields, and pretty scenery. Then we went to a wildlife sanctuary were injured or orphaned animals are brought to be taken care of. We saw a wombat that was 9 months old, a baby wallaby (only a couple weeks old), dingoes, Tasmanian devils, emus, and sheep and hand fed kangaroos, and wallabies. And of course koalas. Then we went off to Phillip Island to see Seal Rock, another beautiful beach (I forgot the name), and a Penguin Parade. Every night hundreds of penguins come up along the beach to go to their homes on this little section of the island. It was a really unique experience with the wildlife of Australia.

Then Friday we toured around the city and saw an art museum, and the parade for the Final Australian Rules Football game. They get really into their sports here let me tell you! The streets were lined with thousands of people, you could not move even if you really wanted too. Oh and that night we went to a Jack’s Mannequin and Fall Out Boy Concert. It was ok, I didn’t really want to go, but Alex did, so I compromised and went.

Saturday we had a lovely lunch in a café, then Alex went to a Modern Art museum, and I went to the Botanic Gardens, and the WWI memorial. The gardens were gorgeous, and they never ended. I walked for 2 hours only to discover more beauty. There are multiple aspects of the Gardens, like the Queen Elizabeth Gardens, King’s Domain Gardens, and the Memorial Gardens. All completely breath-taking with life. And in the WWI memorial a little old man was in their crying, and I cried with him, just seeing the appreciation and love of his heart.

Then we watched footy in a pub, it was crazy how into the game everyone was, and we flew home. I was exhausted. I felt and looked like death, but the trip was absolutely worth it. I felt there was so much to do and see in the city, but I am happy with how I spent my time. Now I am back in the Gold Coast, doing some Uni work, chilling out with people, and enjoying the weather getting super HOT!

I hope this wasn’t too long or boring, I just wanted to catch you all up :)

The Taylor Family

I texted in to a radio station here in Gold Coast to win tickets to see Evan Almighty (it just came out here), and I won!!! Well all of my friends won too, but that just meant more of us could go! So 10 of us rocked it to the free premiere showing, and man it was both good company and a good movie.

My heart right now is really alive to the desire to have a Christian family. When the movie was over, and it showed a clip of the family going for a hike, and just spending time together, and my eyes flooded with tears. My family doesn’t really do that, we used to, but then everyone just got too busy. My dad’s famous saying was, “Well we need you to do more to put it on your college resume.” No wonder I struggle to accept Grace, I grew up believing and being forced fed this idea of working really hard to have value, working really hard to be enough.

Anyways, back to the family stuff. I reckon that the reason I love going to Old Chicago with my family, is because everyone goes, eats, and enjoys life. It is rich time. I miss it actually.

When we were done with the movie Ben invited us all over to his house for dinner, and dessert. And man, his family has been one of the biggest blessings in my life here so far. His mother, father, and sister already ate, but his mother made us more food, for all 10 of us mind you, and then we all crammed at this huge table to eat. And they stayed with us, to fellowship.

At the table of 13, I sat close to Brian (the dad) and he asked such good questions. He was asking me about my family, what my life is like, and took a shallow conversation at the table deeper. He is a cool man of God. Then Debbie (the mum) said, “Well Brian, what do you think?” and Brian responded, “I reckon we should pray for this young people…” they were so on the same page! It was sweet. Then they prayed for us. Brian offered his heart as a father, and Debbie offered her heart as a mother. They prayed for our futures, our studies, our safety, and our journey with God. My favorite part of their prayer was when they praised God for not making us be alone; both by his presence and the invitation to have a partner in life. And they prayed for our hearts desires in relationships, and the reality that you are in control, a good God, and enough even if we never get married. It blessed me…..alot.

Then, 3 hours later, we left. I still couldn’t believe we all sat at that table eating chocolate and drinking tea for that long. I couldn’t believe Brian and Debbie didn’t feel they had better things to do. They had space in their lives to invest in us. How cool. On our way out Debbie reminded me of my mother so much, she ran to the fridge and grabbed three bottles of juice, (I kept commenting on how I loved the fresh squeezed carrot, apple, and orange juice) and she insisted I took them home with me. What love. Anyways., I simply loved last night. I love that family, and I love God for blessing me so abundantly with them.